Crystal Redford
The Orphanage Within
All the selves I was – Babies Toddlers Teenagers – they are still inside me. Fractured into lonely rooms of pain. An orphanage in my...
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Crystal Redford
Nov 13, 20233 min read
Starling Sister
Dear starling sister, Faceless sister, nameless sister, Our sisterhood in shared pain, not shared name – I remember now that I saw you on...
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Crystal Redford
Aug 16, 20233 min read
To the hurt little boys
Hey, if you want to buy the purple mermaid folder, Buy it. It's really okay. I'm so sorry I said it wasn't. Do not choose the cheaper...
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Crystal Redford
Aug 16, 20233 min read
Truth and Error
thump thump thump thump thump My head against my bed, again. Every night, for three months. Every night the monsters came. "Die, you...
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Crystal Redford
Apr 19, 20231 min read
I Want To Be Like You, God
I want to be like you, God But please don’t let it hurt I want to love like you, God. But please, not with grief. I want to count your...
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Crystal Redford
Apr 8, 20231 min read
The God of Scars Who Drank No Vinegar
My Savior is a God of scars who drank no vinegar. He knows deep suffering, and yet never gave in to bitterness. He clearly chose and...
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Crystal Redford
Mar 5, 20231 min read
Moving Day
“Give me ears to hear, Lord.” My heart beats fast. I should be peaceful. New house. New hope. I look at the huge bathtub, the huge...
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Crystal Redford
Jan 23, 20239 min read
Stand in the Creek and Let the Water Fill Your Boots
I looked back at the creek behind me. The last thing I wanted to do was go stand in it. But the thickets and thorns before me were...
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Crystal Redford
Jan 5, 20231 min read
Five More Minutes of Sunshine
I looked out the window while walking on the treadmill, and I realized I could still see the trees. The sun sets so early here in North...
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Crystal Redford
Dec 16, 20221 min read
Patience is Trust
Patience is hard for me. I want my blessings -- a house to live in again, another baby, this book to be written and done. When these...
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Crystal Redford
Nov 7, 20222 min read
Black Lilies
The Savior once taught me the beauty that lies in the middle of grief. I'd just recovered some of the worst memories of what my father...
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Crystal Redford
Nov 5, 20221 min read
Upon Their Bodies the Fire Had No Power
"Upon whose bodies the fire had no power." Daniel 3: 25 I once described myself as a pile of ashes with only an ember remaining. My body...
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Crystal Redford
Oct 28, 20221 min read
Esther
Esther was audacious when she marched unbidden into the inner court of King Ahasuerus, risking her very life to petition for her people....
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